So you know where you live is the shit, but don’t know exactly why. Well my friends, here’s why…
1) The Flag:
- The Maryland flag is certainly the most beautiful in all of the Union. The 2 symbols represent the symbols of the Calvert (black and yellow) and Crossland (red and white) families. It is the best combination of colors ever thought of. The flag flies high, representing the beauty of this state. The waving flag boasts to all who see it that they are in the presence of true greatness. I mean…damn. Just look at it. What other state flag is nearly as cool as this?
2) Cal Ripken Jr:
- Cal Ripken is quite possibly the greatest man to ever live. The guy played 2,632 games straight. He is a legend. He was the Michael Jordan of the Baltimore Orioles. If Cal Ripken ran for governor…he would win. Hell, if someone wanted to raise a militia in this state, Cal Ripken should be the spokesperson because EVERYONE would join. Ripken wore the number 8 and young Marylanders everywhere that played little league would kill a bitch for that number. Cal Ripken is a hero, legend and pimp all in one. What a guy.
3) America in Miniature:
- Maryland has earned the nickname, “America in Miniature” for good reason. Maryland has the beach in the east, mountains in the west and the bay in the middle. It has un-relentless crime in the ghettos of Baltimore and red-necky southern people in south-central. Farmlands, ports, battlefields, quaint cities like Annapolis, clean air, and of course the Mason Dixon. Foreign people fly to Maryland to experience all that this nation has to offer. Why ever leave?
4) Crabs:
- The Maryland blue crab, pulled right from the Chesapeake bay, is a dish MD calls its own. No other state eats crabs like us. We eat that shit up. People from Jersey or New York always need help when it comes time for a feast – and there is always a kind-hearted Marylander there to help. People ship our crabs all around the planet for good reason… they are delicious. What would a summer in Maryland be without beer, crabs and football because…after all…
5) Old Bay:
- So in order to fully enjoy our crabs, we created our own spice. Old Bay can literally be put on anything. Personally I have put it on pizza, chicken, corn, popcorn, pasta, baked potatoes, shrimp, green beans…the list goes on. No lie, one time i sprinkled it on a bowl and smoked it…MARYLAND CHRONIC BABY. Some people in other states have never heard of Old Bay- fuck them. On the back of every can it says, “Maryland, with pride”. Say no more Old Bay, say no more.
6) Hospitals
- One of the best places to get hurt in the world, Maryland contains some of Earth’s best medical care. Johns Hopkins University Medical Center is like, the hospital. People get flown from around the world to MD so we can fix them. In fact, our state was a pioneer in the helicopter shock trauma unit that is now standard in the US. So don’t worry about falling ill in Maryland, we got your back.
7) Star Bangled Banner
- The lyrics come from “Defence of Fort McHenry,” a poem written in 1814 by the 35-year-old amateur poet Francis Scott Key. He wrote it after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by the Brits on the Chesapeake Bay during the Battle of Baltimore in the War of 1812. So, when the rest of America needed a song, they looked no further than this hot joint penned on the Bay. How cool is it that there was a Battle of Baltimore? Have you ever heard of a Battle of Topeka? I didn’t think so. Oh and how can I forget, in Maryland when the part comes where we all say, “Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave” we all yell, “OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Go Orioles baby! Whenever you are at a sporting event in MD you MUST say it this way (but if not in MD…we still say it anyway.)
8) Famous Peoples:
- The Free State has created some really famous ass people. Here we go: Jim Henson, Edward Norton, Oprah lived here, Tupac lived in Baltimore and went to an art school there, Edgar Allan Poe lived here, David Hasslehoff, Jada Pinkett Smith, Scott Van Pelt, John Wilkes Booth, Karen Allen (Marion in the Indiana Jones movies), Montell, Cal Ripken Jr., Babe Ruth, Johnny Unitas, Michael Phelps, Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, Francis Scott Key, Toni Braxton, Frank Zappa, Billie Holiday… the list goes on. Maryland is just full of greatness.
9) The Chesapeake Bay:
The Old Line State boasts the nations largest estuary, the Chesapeake Bay. The bay divides the state in two, giving us our signature, “tommy gun” look. It’s effects can be felt in 6 states and Washington DC, making this one hot body of water. At one point the cool looking Bay-Bridge was the world’s longest continuous over-water steel structure. Take that San Francisco you hippie bastard. If you have ever seen our bay you know it is the most beautiful landscape to be found in the 13 Colonies. Save the Bay.
10) We Started It:
- The first post office was in Baltimore in 1774
- The first continuous newspaper in the US was the Maryland Gazette in 1727
- The first telegraph line in the world was established between DC and Baltimore in 1844
- The St. Francis Academy was the first dental school on the planet in 1828
- The Baltimore Water Company was established in 1792 making it the first water company in America
- the Mount Claire Station in Baltimore was built in 1820 making it the first railroad station in the US
- The nation’s first umbrellas were built in Baltimore starting in 1828
- We are the only state to develop a distinct breed of dog – the Chesapeake Bay Retriever
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Well there you have it, 10 of the billions of reasons why Maryland is the shit. Tell your friends and read more.
Can you publish this in a book, print it, and sell me a copy?
-Joey
damn. maryland really rocks all kind of hotness.
maryland = saving the earth from the scum of the universe
sorry, but the flag’s really ugly and I have no idea who the hell is nm.2 J. Cripken Jr. But I love your dogs, I have a chesapeak and he’s really owesome..
You don’t know who Cal Ripken Jr is??? You must not be a baseball fan.
or american
The Flag is Not Ugly (matter of opinion) and Cal Ripkin, Jr. was on of the best Baseball players ever. He is still here in MD helping kids and making us all proud of him…
Google that shit, bro.
Google – also created by a guy that went to University of Maryland.
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@ petra… Seriously have you been living under a rock for the last decade? Cal Ripken is the “iron man”, broke the consecutive games played streak set by the iron horse Lou Gehrig? Baseball, any of this ringing a bell? Inducted into the baseball hall of fame? nothing?
Ripken played in 2,632 consecutive games. Just saying.
#6 should correctly identify the Univerisity of Maryland Shock Trauma Center as THE hospital. It is the pride of Baltimore and a model for the world in treatment of traumatic injuries. If they can’t fix you, you’re too far gone.
Can’t forget about Baltimore City Public Health Dept (BCHD) – a lot of evidence suggesting first city health dept established in the U.S.
You were the last state to abolish slavery in 1816 you racist bastards. But I guess that explains why you were so proud to boast John Wilkes Booth lived there.
I think you are thinking of 1867. The Civil War hadn’t even begun in 1816 Ryan. You’ll get it next time. Maryland believes in you.
Because everyone who lives in MD was alive during the civil war and warrants you calling Marylanders “racist bastards.”
It’s okay, Ryan. I understand that the WV school system failed you and I am not mad about it.
Ryan…you are an idiot! Maryland was far rom the last state to abolish slavery. Do some research before you post falsehoods that make you look stupid. Then again, I guess you are what you are.
Actually Mississippi just abolished it this year officially
80% of Marylanders fought for the Union. Baltimore County alone had 47 freed black communities prior to the Civil War. Maryland was the most desegregated state in the country, by far. BTW: slavery was the law of the land in every state because of the Fugitive Slave Act, so no state can take a higher ground on the issue. As for Booth, he moved to Philadelphia and he should not be on this list as a famous Marylander. Infamous, maybe…
Booth also fled Washington DC after the shooting, south to St. Mary’s Co. to Dr. Mudd’s residence for treatment.
For you religious folks, Maryland also boasts the Grotto of Lourdes in America – right near St. Seton Shrine and the National Fire Academy.
*first Grotto of Lourdes
l
Love all your points, but seriously, Tupak was the best example of a Marylander… And, no, not a racist. But he isn’t really mainstream, or a high point of pride for everyone. Just sayin’
But he isn’t really mainstream (false), or a high point of pride for everyone(double-false).
My objection is he only lived here for two years, and he is primarily known for California, specifically L.A.
GOOD LORD let’s all bow down and praise the gang banger.
And the taxes are so wonderful I’m not coming back.
Maryland has a few cool things, but it also sucks in a lot of ways too. Nice peice though
p.s. I think Maryland crabs and Old Bay are way cooler than the flag
YES! Down with the flag. Up with crabs and Old Bay!
first book mobile in the US wa in Hagerstown, home of Ft Frederick on of the very few original standing stone forts from the Frenchand Indian war, War Correspondents Memorial, The Antietam Battlefield,….aw…just go here… http://www.marylandtheseventhstate.com/article1013.html
We abolished slavery in 1864, but had the largest free black population in the country even before the war. And yeah John Wilkes Booth was from here as well as a bunch of Confederate soldiers and generals. If that makes Marylanders racist than cool. As far as the flag goes, the red and white cross was used at the outbreak of the war as a pro-southern symbol of secession and the yellow and black pattern was displayed by unionists. After the war they combined the two symbols to unite the two factions of the state that were bitter against each other still.
Hence our state nickname—the Old Line State which signifys the line between the North and South.
Duck pin bowling..
Isn’t the highest rent district in the United States in Montgomery County, Maryland? Do they have a Cover Charge just to visit?
Yes. I live there. It’s a nice county though.
I live in MoCo and it has one of the best (if not the best) education systems in the nation. Not to mention the amount of wealth and prosperity the area has to offer. This is the reason the rent is so high, because everybody wants to live here!!!!
Might have to fact-check you on the dog thing – what about the Alaskan Malamute?
Or the Boston Terrier. This list is full of fail.
The Alaskan malamute existed before Alaska was a state (all the back in the 19th century). And the Boston terrier is from a city and not a state.
Johnny U is from western PA. He’s not originally from MD. Cal is great but my hero growing up was Eddie Murray. In my opinion, he was the greatest Oriole of my lifetime. I agree with everything else but you did not mention Terps basketball and the hot bed of basketball talent that comes out of this state.
They totally missed that MD is the home of duckpin bowling!!!!
For you Architecture buffs, Baltimore can also claim the first Roman Catholic Cathedral built in America. The Baltimore Basilica on Cathedral Street built by Benjamine Henry Latrobe….America’s first professionally trained Architect.
You mention in famous peoples, Billie Holiday, but don’t forget our gunslinger and resident dentist Doc Holiday. I’m your huckleberry.
Wasn’t he born in Georgia?
RIDGE! JOHN DEERE TRACTORS! 10 OZ BUDWEISERS! SOMD RULES!
Thanks, Jimmy! From your friend in St. Mary’s County. When you see so many haters, you KNOW they’re jealous.
And how bout the Ravens, hon????
Maryland is my home state…it has just about everything! But, you can’t beat the weather in my current home…Southern California. Just sayin’ that 60 degrees in February does not suck.
Well, there’s also the fact that but for the valor of Maryland’s soldiers during the early days of the Revolution,, the USA wouldn’t exist. At the Battle Of Long Island, 300 Marylanders led by Major Mordicai Gist and General Lord Stirling held off the on-rushing British army to allow the rest of the American army to escape the disaster. If they hadn’t fought so hard, the Brits would have bagged the entire Army and ended the rev. Out of the entire unit, only Gist and 9 others made it back . We were Washington’s favorite troops and he gave us our nickname, “The Old Line State”.
Goldie Hawn lived here!
yeah she did – she went to Montgomery Blair, as did Ben Stein & Connie Chung
For those martime fans, don’t forget the famous Baltimore clipper ships and the USS Frigate Constellation (1797-1853) docked at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore with many other historic ships.
Lolz I live in Baltimore. It’s not that dangerous XD.
We also have the Exorcist, Blair Witch, Fallout, and the best schools in the nation 4 years running. I think Montgomery County is the 2nd or 3rd richest county in the nation too.
The Exorcist was filmed in Washington DC not Maryland.
Yeah, but the actual exorcism took place in Mt Rainier
the “movie” you speak of was based on actual events that took place on Bunker Hill Road in Mount Rainier, Maryland PG COUNTY!
The fact that you left out Ray Lewis and the Ravens after just winning a super bowl insults me as a Marylander. Other sports icons like Johnny Unitas would roll over in his grave, God rest his soul. Brooks Robinson would be insulted that he too was left off.
Get it together, baby.
Maryland Sports!
It insults me as a Marylander that you failed to realize this was written in 2009. The Ravens conquered the Super Bowl in 2013. The list would just go on forever if he/she included all of the famous sports legends.
In the writers defense, he wrote this back in 2009, although we had won a super before 2009 also… I too was looking for a Ravens shot out. But great acrticle! I enjoyed it
I moved from the urban blight known as Montgomery County 8 years ago to wild and wonderful West Virginia. My cost of living dropped dramatically and the quality of life is way above that of Maryland residents. I will never return to the sorry State of Maryland and it’s tax loving government. Too many illegal resident aliens who commit crime, can’t drive, can’t even cross the street safely. Good Bye !
that’s funny because I work in Loudon County and the majority of people that we catch committing crimes there are the meth addicts that come over from West Virginia
Don’t let the screen door hit ya.
The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad was the first major railroad built in the US.
National Bohemian, from the land of Pleasant Living.
First U.S. Catholic colony founded by Cecil Calvert in 1634.
As a new Marylander living here for the past 3 years, I enjoyed this post, and I’m generally on board. But you almost lost me with the #1. I’ll definitely love Maryland more and more over the years, but I will *never* love that flag. It’s the most garish thing! Ugh! (To be fair, in the New England states where I’m from and have lived most of my life, the flags tend to be boring. One thing you can say for Maryland’s flag…it ain’t boring!
)
The Preakness….’Oh Maryland My Maryland!’
Katie Couric is also from MoCo.
We don’t play in a Super Bowl often, but when we do, WE WIN!!!! Only NFL team to play in multiple Super Bowls and win 100% of the time!
Also the youngest team. NICE PURPLE PANTS
The youngest team but already has more superbowl rings than most of the nfl!
Loved all the comments
MoCo may be the highest rent district but it also has the best school system in the country… so its a give and take there
Not only is Cal Ripken Jr not the Michael Jordan of baseball, but he’s probably not even Top 25 all-time. Longevity isn’t the same as greatness.
But fair point on the crabs.
Maryland: ‘Merica’s gun. nuf said!
Don’t forget Harriet Tubman, Underground railroad (from Dorchester Co.) and Frederick Douglas born in Talbot Co.–McCormick Spice Co. (Old Bay) the largest spice co. in the world, H.L.Menchen (writer, social critric) born in Baltimore, The Duchess of Windsor born in Baltimore and attended the Oldfields School., Babe Ruth born in Baltimore–
Kent County is #1 on the Best Place to live in the Country!
Bea Arthur was also from Cambridge.. Love that Golden Girl!
# 2 oldest catholic college- Mount St. Mary’s University
w00t! GO MOUNT!
not trying to step on anyone’s toes here, but i’m thinking there’s a ‘Georgia Bloodhound’
Maryland would be a wonderful state if the politicians , aholes and snobs would get out and move down South or something. I’ve lived all over the state and I will hate to leave it when time comes. But besides all of that, first county sheriff, James Baldridge in 1637; St. Mary’s County, MD St. Mary’s is also the location of Maryland’s first state house and hosts the largest fleet of sunken wooden hulled ships in the western hemisphere at Mallows Bay. The first woman lawyer, landowner, taxpayer and suffragist, in America was Margaret Brent; she lived in MD in the 1600′s. First human voice via radio transmission was from Cobb Island, Maryland.in 1900. And of course, The RAVENS, so anyone who doubts that Maryland is cool has bumped their head. This is just the stuff I can recall off the top of my head.
Mallows Bay is on the Potomac River in Charles county. I would say it is closest to Nanjemoy if you look on Google Earth.
No one mentioned slot machines and tobacco.
How about the Harry Nice(301) bridge. Pt Lookout, Solomon’s Island, Pt Tobacco – the entire Potomac river is outrageous along it’s length in Maryland. I love Great Falls, Point of Rocks, and Harper’s Ferry.
However truth be told, the coolest state flag goes to Texas. The image of that flag can be found across that entire state. I can’t say the same for Maryland. You can find The Lone Star in about any place you might not even think of looking down there. They sell tortilla chips in the shape of the state down there. Low taxes, republicans and gun loving people are all attractive.
Not to mention that our state sport is JOUSTING. How cool?
The first Roman Catholic diocese in the United States (Baltimore), the first Cathedral (Basilica of the Assumption), the first two Roman Catholic seminaries (St. Mary’s Seminary & University in Baltimore and Mount St. Mary’s in Emmitsburg), and the State flag is the only state flag to actually be a military regiment’s regimental colors. The flag was originally the regimental colors for the Maryland 5th Regiment formed on 3 December 1774 and are still around today as the 175th Infantry (MD 5th Regt).
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Maryland is also the wealthiest stateaccordong to forbes. Boasting several of the top counties. Montgomery Howard. Charles Anne arundel and pg has the hihjest percent if affluent. Blacks
Let’s give PG County to D.C., then the state would be alright.
Didn’t even see one mention of sleazy Ocean City? Doesn’t anyone like going downy ocean anymore, hons?
And a couple of terrible reasons why it’s not: No’Malley, Taxes, very criminal friendly
I love Maryland. Lots of fat bitches with crabs!
[...] a funny, yet so true, post about “10 reasons why Maryland is Awesome.” A few mentions include Cal Ripken Jr., Old Bay, even Hospitals! [...]
Run Away Bride and Tuck Everlasting filmed in Historic Berlin (which is 8 miles and 100 years from Ocean City)
John Wilkes Booth adds to the state being “full of greatness” huh?
Oh, and the post office sucks. I’m embarrassed it was started here.
UMD Shock Trauma is just as good as Hopkins. Hopkins is great for research though. You could give NIH and Naval Medical Center some credit too for being in MD. Not all of MD is Baltimore.
Under Armour founder, Kevin Plank, is a Maryland boy and graduate of University of Maryland.
anybody STUPID enough to think this is an awesome state clearly doesn’t pay attention to the legislature that MD’s moronic governor wants passed.
So, when are you leaving?
LOL at mentioning John Wilkes Booth like he didn’t murder a president.
The first gas lamp was in Baltimore also. It sits on the corner of E Baltimore St & Commerce St (one block away from City Hall)
Oh, and the movie Gods & Generals was filmed in Washington County. Actually not toi far from the Antietam Battleground.
Maryland had the first settlers in 1634 , when then ark and dove landed in st marys city .
All your facts in #10 are even true