so i went in just now to get a haircut in Frederick, the guy that cut my hair was deaf and must have had parkinsons. Let us think on this one for a second. A deaf, parkinsons, barber. So when i asked him to keep it longer on the top he simply said, “whaaahhh?” He asked me if i wanted the number 4 blade – i had no idea what that was and so he decided to go with number 3. As he was buzzing with the 3, i could feel his hands shaking as they ascended my scalp.
I simply closed my eyes and hoped for the best. I closed my eyes for no reason however, because he turned me away from the GIANT barber mirror in front of me. At no point in my haircut did i see what was going on, how short my hair was, how much longer it would take me. I sat staring out the window, hoping i would be okay, thinking the auditory cues i gave to a deaf man would be sufficient. I mean hey, he is an old barber man…he knows what he is doing. I finally turn to see what’s up, when i see my hair is SO short. I’m like, “okayyyyyyyyy, i think we’re good.” My hair went from the Himalayas to the Great plains in 15 minutes… I was hoping more for an Appalachian though (if you get my analogy). Moral of the story: get a younger barber that can hear directions and maintain a steady hand.
Meanwhile the old man barber next to me was talking nonstop about twitter, cell phones and the internet. He was saying how he can’t do, “6 things at once” (the 6 things he was talking about were driving while talking on a cell phone). This man looked a lot like the fabled Rip Van Winkle – I just wish he was my barber. But hey…. i still look excellent.