the dentist and the women who love him

so i had to go get 4, count em, 4 cavities filled today at the god awful early morning hour of 1:30pm. I get there and go to the receptionist to put my name in. Before I get to sit down in a chair the door opens, “Michael Gabaly (she said it like gab-alley)?” First of all, that never happens. So I am fast-tracked to what might as well be the distant cousin of the electric chair. The art on the wall portrays the train station in Point of Rocks (shout out to my Frederick homies). The periodicals consist of a National Geographic article about a volcano in Yellowstone and a People Magazine about that stupid bitch from John and Kate plus 8.

So I am informed this process will last about an hour when this song comes on…

So now that Sugar Ray is on I feel like this hour might not be too bad. Little did i know, my luck was about to change. The dentist takes a needle and shoots me up with some novocaine.  Mmmmmm, while writing this I still cannot feel my mouth. Anyway, he goes about the drilling process and things go smoothly. Then he gets some dude in another room complaining that he has to be at a meeting soon. So the guy workin on me leaves the room for 20 minutes, and I am left with the dental hygenist. I remind you, my mouth is in the 3rd stage of retardation at this point. We make small talk. I ask her who invented the process of filling cavities…she didnt know. Dont you think they teach you things like that at dentist school? I thought it should have been known. So now I am mildly agitated with tooth dust looming in the air. The dentist comes back to continue the long haul. As he does, this song plays…

So at this point I pray for a swift death. Josh Grobin and cavities dont mix. Uggh I get the shitty chills just thinkin about it. To top this all off, my sister has a hair appoinment at 3pm and needs my car. She called me 4 times and texted me 3 times while I was listening to this smooth jazz shit with drills in my mouth. I finally get the chance to text her this, “im still in the chair leave me alone”. I resisted the urge to add a “fuck” in there. The dentist takes about another 40 minutes fixing my teeth then sends me on my way. All I wanna do now is eat, but am afraid I will bite my tongue off.

Moral of the story: floss.


One thought on “the dentist and the women who love him”

  1. this sucks because i know i have a few cavs that need drillin. never had em before so this story has prepared me.

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