thoughts while watching TruTV

– Burlington Coat Factory- am i supposed to believe that there is a factory someplace where the sole purpose is to create coats?

– i wish i could draw. wouldn’t that be nice? if i could just draw things. like, “hey that’s a nice finch…i think i’ll draw that”


– would it be funny if Adolf Hitler was on that show “Obsessed” about obsessive compulsive disorder? i can imagine him standing quite uncomfortably in a Los Angeles apartment wearing a nutmeg colored turtleneck in a interview like, “….(long exhale) my name is Adolf, and I am obsessed with killing jews”. It would be funny to see Hitler want to change for the better.

– haha, there was a shot of a prison and a water tower labeled “Department of Corrections”. If I drove on a highway and saw that on a water tower, I would turn around.

– when am I ever gonna want to go to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Why would I ever go there?

– “she’ll be exposed to more than a million germs this year,” claims the Juicy Juice commercial. exposed is such a dirty word.

– forensic science in 2009 makes me never want to kill anyone. what type of moron commits a crime these days?

– observation: there has been an increase of black actors since the election of Barack Obama. every brand, network, commercial is hiring people that resemble Obama in skin tone. i think that’s cool. have you noticed this too?

– “you’re gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it” – says the guy from Men’s Warehouse who actually hates his own reflection.

i hate myself
i hate myself

– Kentucky Grilled Chicken aye? What a bunch of sellouts. Honestly, the word “fried” is in their company name.

– if i was an identical twin, i/we would walk around giving people deja vu all the time. how fun would that be?

–  A Cascade commercial asks,”does your dishwasher suffer from Post Party Sickness Syndrome?” ….no, my dishwasher doesn’t have emotions

– they really gotta get rid of this god damn Geico Gecko. who likes that lizard as an insurance spokesman?

– If Uncle Ben waltzed onto a rice paddy somewhere in China do you think they would be like, “OHH MY GODDD IT’S UNCLE BEN!!!!” He is the definitely the rice pimp.


– it would be a crappy, yet easy job, to play a corpse on a show about forensics. what an easy job.


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