pictures taken from my ENV2

jaywalk = horrible death
jaywalk = horrible death

I saw this advertisement on the side of a bus in Frederick. Naturally, I can see what they were trying to say. However, I am distracted from their overall point by THE MAN BEING HIT BY A CAR. I find it to be a rather morbid way of telling people not to jaywalk. I also like how this becomes much more “serious” by the added fact that his Starbucks is being tossed about like George Clooney’s ship in A Perfect Storm. It isn’t enough for this poorly dressed man to get hit by a car, his skim latte has to also pay for his foolish jaywalking. Isn’t it also interesting that the car is seemingly unharmed? I want that car. If i can sever the spinal chord of a hipster with my car…sign me up. Furthermore, this sign was so captivating that instead of looking at the road I hit and killed 4 people. Moral of the story: do not jaywalk.

sea-doo
sea-doo

This picture was at a gas station. I don’t have too much to say about this one except that it is a great name. It took the beloved “Sea Nymph” that we all aspire to be one day – and turned it into a perverted name for a North Carolina boat. This guy can’t take anyone on this boat that doesn’t know him. I envision a southern man talking to someone  like,

Southern Man: “Welp, I got me a 24 pack of Coors, and some cigarettes let’s go on the boat!”

Non-Boater: “Alright, which one is your boat?”

Southern Man: “Ohh, she’s right there. the Sea Nympho”

Non Boater: “Ew.”

Southern Man: “Uh huh. Yep, well I like fuckin and boatin so it was either that or the Atlantic 3-Some, or the River Rapist.”

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2 thoughts on “pictures taken from my ENV2”

  1. haha nice

    The other day on the road I saw someone with a boat named “Wet Dreams”. My reaction was that of the Non-Boater. :\

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