“i like my sex like i like my basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible”

Can someone tell me what the deal is with these license plates that say “vietnam veteran” or “purple heart” on them? i think it is so that in the event of them being pulled over the Republican police officer sees the plates and is like, “awww hell, I aint gon’ give you a ticket.” What does fighting in Vietnam have to do with merging in an intersection or doing 90 in a 65? Talk about favoritism. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for veterans…but traffic violations should be something punished regardless of that shit. Am I wrong?

NO TICKET!! - Indiana Jones to Nazi passengers aboard blimp
"NO TICKET!!" - Indiana Jones to Nazi passengers aboard blimp

AND NOW…for that scene in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade mentioned in the above caption.

Man, Indiana Jones has a cool sounding punch.

I went to Dunkin Donuts today, and let me tell you…excellent. It is cheap and good. Great coffee. 4 Stars to Dunkin Donuts!!!!!! 4 Stars I say!!!!

So, coffee. Who figured out this process. From harvest, to roasting, to grinding, to running hot water through it. Smart people. I might have given up at the grinding part. I would have been someone in the jungle back in the day, working in the humid summer sun like, “…what…am I doing?”

Brett Favre, too soon. You can’t make jokes about this shit when people are still pissed off at you. God. But Sears, touche.

I want everyone to look at this box, read the name of the breatlyzer, and laugh for about 5 minutes like I did. Say it out loud a few times. It would be a great superhero. Think about it.


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