what you get for being up at 5:42AM

– what do you think the rate of suicide is for QVC hosts?

“And this portable reading light is perfect for the holiday season, you might wanna go ahead and get your friend or loved one a gift card to their favorite book store, right Jill………..Jill?”

Jill was pronounced dead after the sale of the 14th reading light

she wrote the note with the $9.95 Amazing-Astronaut Pen.
she wrote the note with the $9.95 Amazing-Astronaut Pen.

– “I love to cook but i have multiple sclerosis.” – said the Ronco Rotissere Chicken Oven Satisfied Customer.

– Someone said, “It was the most amazing rotissere chicken ive ever had, and there is nothing to clean up.” Except for a rotissere oven that can hold a 15 pound turkey!!! Yeah, other than that. You would need a hose and a broom to clean that damn thing. There are so many things to clean! She lied to us.

just look at the old ass star wars panel
just look at the old ass star wars panel, gotta clean that too

– Why are religious people very good with acronyms? I always see bumper stickers that say things like, “C.S.I.: Christ Sees Individuals” on peoples cars. And it is made in the C.S.I. font too! So at first you’re like, Oh!…then you get let down when you see “F.B.I. Forgiveness By Innocence.”

-In the simulaiton of a spine lining up, the computer image of a woman, had been given very large, exposed side-breasts. This says a lot about our society. subliminal message to sell backjoy perhaps? What do you think the majority of Americans think in that situation? Boobs or Backjoy, tick tock tick tock? If they do it right its Boobjoy, or Backjits. Touche backjoy…

– The CEO of this company claims the misson of his company is to, “change the way the word sits.”  He also said out-loud, “your back is supposed to be held erect.”

aligning the spine one seat at a time
aligning. the. spine. one. seat. at. a. time.

– noone uses the word television. unless you lived when people did.

– selling something you sit on in a real testimonial, can only be done by exclaming, “you guys, it is honestly, really comfortable.”

– Girls Gone Wild: how did noone ever, in their drunkest, highest, debates. Among fools and scholars alike. Ever, and I mean…..ever since the dawn of the film medium. Ever once come up with the idea…….to film women flashing them. It wasn’t until…

...this guy.
...this guy.

– who do you think killed the first chicken and ate it? smart guy/girl

definitely not in the paleozoic period.
definitely not in the paleozoic period.

– do you think the girls gone wild guy is ever like, “…..put a shirt on.”

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