the mysterious vanishing candle

27 12 2009

– So thank god the holidays are over. For some reason I heard more Christmas songs than ever before in my life. Def a soundtrack for losing your mind.

– The Rhode Island license plate kind of sucks. it is just a white plate with blue waves. And since when has RI been called “The Ocean State” shouldn’t it be called “The Small State” or “We Misspell Road State”

last colony to become a state my ass

-It has come to my attention that a good amount of people read this. Thanks everyone. Keep it up.

– My favorite gift this holiday season was probably a $25 gift card to The Outback. Clearly, and eventful gift giving process at my house.

is tip included on this card? how does that work?

– Big 100.3 FM played a 26 hour, non-stop, Beatles Christmas including rare tracks and other assorted material. The Rolling Stones however were played once on 88.1 AM…noone listened.

– Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute. TRUE DAT FACT SON!!

not a knight...but you get the picture

– People keep telling me to go see Avatar. It costs about 16 dollars (including the 3D glasses). I wonder if Regal Cinemas accepts solid gold these days? They might as well.

– Have you heard of Lady Godiva? No, she had nothing to do with chocolate. Back in the early 1000’s in England, Lady Godiva pleaded with the Earl of Mercia to lower the taxes of the people. The Earl, like a genuine dick, was like, “Yeah I’ll lower the taxes….when you ride on a horse naked through town.” So this lady got nude and rode through town…and the Earl was like, “touche.” He lowered the taxes!

sexual harassment knows no limits in time

– In a related story, some dude named Tom was looking out his window on a nice, sunny, British afternoon. All of the sudden, some nude chick rides by on a horse. Tom is instantly struck blind, for he couldn’t resist lookin at the Godiva ass ridin’ by. Hence one origin for the term, “Peeping Tom.”

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