– I had a dream last night that took place in San Francisco. It sucked, don’t ever go there.
– I don’t normally like to think that there is a hierarchy of office supplies…but we all know who the ruler..is.
– Man, Salma Hayek is very hot.
– Did you know that two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey! TRUE DAT FACT B!
– If Arnold can do it out in Cali, and Jesse Ventura could do it wherever the fuck he lived…why can’t Cal Ripken do it in Maryland? Let’s think about this one. Imagine a ballot for governor and you see 3 names: Johnson, Willis, Ripken Jr.….which one are you gonna pick? The banners on peoples lawns would be awesome. His platform could be, “I played two thousand, one hundred, and thirty-one games…in a row. I never left Baltimore for New York. Vote for me.” He would win.
– Ya know how sometimes liquor is “aged” before it is consumed? I like to think of the first batch, the guy makes it, puts it in a wooden cask, he turns to his friend and says, “well, we can’t really start our business for about 7 years.” To which the friend replies, “MY MORTGAGE!”
– This Week Mike Is 12/28: