rise of the machines

– I hate when you are watching a dvd , and you push pause, and if you don’t come back soon enough, it will un-pause itself. it never ceases to suprise me. I’ll be gettin up to make some popcorn and BAM it just turns on again. Im alone in my house like, “…hello?”

– “The Vectron Wave” is esentially a frisbee that hovers over your hand or any flat surface. A lot of 12 year olds are gonna be gettin laid with that.

– So, I’m sitting watching a movie…when I think I hear a radio on somewhere in the house. And I am home alone. How creepy. If “Livin La Vida Loca” was playing, it wouldn’t be creepy at all. Actually, it would become hysterical.

haunting the upstairs bedroom since 4:30PM

– There is an episode of The Twilight Zone where a man’s possessions begin to revolt against him. Much like my current situation.

– If my typewriter decided to type me a letter that said, “Get Out of Here Mike” …I would listen.

– Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt. TRUE DAT MACHINE FACT YOUNG!!!!

an indirect way of telling your daughter she is fat

– This looks like it could be better than the first. Way to go Favreau, I’m proud of you.


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