– I wish there was an affliction that was the exact opposite of an “albino”. It would render the person jet black…that would be creepier I think.
– I went up to a younger, spanish speaking co-worker yesterday and decided to try my hand at making fun of him in his own language. He was wearing glasses and I said to him, “aaaaawwwwwwww Quatro Ojooooooooooooooos!” He laughed in spanish.
– This would be a funny song to replace a resume with
– In my line of work, I have realized that the key to a black womans heart is to simply play any Michael Jackson song. Preferably Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
– So it is now 2010, another year closer to the end of the world. Great.
– Last night at work I saw Patrick Ewing of the New York Knicks. When I tell you this man was gigantic, it doesn’t even come close to describing the sheer tower that was Ewing. He actually wears a respirator because the air in the upper stratosphere is way to thin to breathe. Bad joke. Anyway, I was tempted to say, “Hey, Patrick, I loved you in those snickers commercials, Patrick Chewing, man that was great.”
hahaha, “What’s up Ryan?”
– Im trying to decide what I want for lunch, Burger King or some other place that will give me diarrhea.
– If Frank Sinatra was alive nowadays he would most certainly be singing about texting and Obama. He would be featured in all the Lil’ Wayne songs, and his tweets would be like, “Ay baby, I just got head in a limo”
– In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die. TRUE DAT FACT SON!