see you in the future aligator

peace out crocodile

– Franks Red Hot is simply good on everything. You can put it on pizza, chicken, and….a lot of other things.

– “Yo mama had so many kids! She used a ladder as a picture frame.” – I made that up.

Ricky, Joe, Cate, Zamir, D-BO, #5, Steve, Ice, Maggie, Lincoln

– Anaheim sounds like a classmate: “Scott Williams?…here….Anna Heim? ….Anna Heim?”

her thong was out a lot

– I have a feeling that the foreign concept of the American people resembles a person that wastes a lot of resources. They must think American  is like walking into a guys house that had every one of his lights on. You’re like, “woah isn’t it a little bright in here?” and the American says, “…what are you talking about?” You proceed through the house only to find every faucet is spewing water by the gallon. You say,”should we turn these faucets off?” he can’t answer you because he is too busy shitting into about 1.3 gallons of fresh water himself. You then notice the Ford F-250 in the driveway, tin cans overflowing out of the garbage can, and air conditioning pumping out of the screen door.

Sounds pretty accurate.

– Look who is strollin into my workplace.

i want people to call me Jo Jo Money Bags now

– Recently on a metro ride late at night there was a homeless man sprawled out on the seats in a crowded train car. This man was wearing all black, and smelled terrible. I mean his scent permeated the entire train car. I am willing to bet that if I had gotten off and switched to another car, his smell would be lingering on my clothes. He was passed out, probably riding to avoid the cold weather until 3AM. I would hate to be the guy that told him to get off, “Hey buddy, time to get off we’re closed.”    –What stop am I at?” –  (in a scoffing tone) “Does it really matter?” – “Good point.”

similar sight

– Pennsylvania drivers are slow, West Virginia drivers are flashy, and Virginia drivers just make me want to kill someone.

TRUE You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. Whatttttt???? DAT

looks like we are ALL magicians

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