jim beam and the women who love him

– ya know that feeling when you take a shot, and for a split second you think you might throw up….well, thats life.

– Being in advertising for a water company must be difficult – how do you market a colorless, odorless and tasteless product? If I had to make the billboards I’d say, “It keeps ya ‘liveeeeee” – with a picture of DMX holding a glass of water

mmm i only party up with some high quality H2O

– Nights when you know you have to wake up early always suck. I don’t care what anyone says.

-Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. TRUE DAT FACT MUUFUCKKKAAAASSSS!!!

– It’s never comforting being a passenger and hearing the driver say, “I think I just saw a ghost walk across the street.”

– I think Lady GaGa is taking Madonna’s business model a little too far.

remember her? oh yeah, she already did all this shocking shit.

– To show my opposition for other sports teams I think I am gonna go to other cities and start systematically killing their mascots. For example I would fly to Toronto and kill every Blue Jay I saw, and in Florida some Gators will be poppin up dead. This becomes a little difficult in places like Dallas, for example, where killing Cowboys would give me some hefty jail time. And how the fuck am I gonna find a Bengal in Cincinnati?

he's been seen chillin' by the 7-11

– This seems to be the “handjob trainer”


2 thoughts on “jim beam and the women who love him”

  1. i just said the same thing about lady gaga today at work…

    and when i first saw that commercial, i thought i was watching snl or something, but when i realized it was real, i died.

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