valley of the kings

– How do people that hypnotize others figure out their power? Like one day they are talking to someone when they are 13 like, “So I was focusing really hard on the clock and….Bill…..Bill?…..Bill.”

and just like that, 8 year old Bill lost his capacity for free will

– Now that the winter olympics are on again, we are gonna hear a lot of people be called “lugers” on TV. luuuuuuuger

– When it snows such an ungodly amount as it did this past week, I think to myself that this would be a great time for a zombie attack. Think about it. Nowhere to run, literally.

I know you're in there! Your car is parked outside!!! I can see you!

– I wonder what would happen if some random company used a family comprised of all different races to sell it’s product. For example, the family sitting around a table eating a box of Honey Nut Cherrios would be a black father, an asian mother, and an aboriginal kid. It would sell.

– My car battery died and the metro train derailed at the stop where i work….needless to say, I took the night off.

– I ate raw salmon the other day out of the package from Costco. I wanted to feel like a bear, if only for a moment.

im the guy on the left

– Usermontu was this upper class, Egyptian dude back in the day. He was mummified and found to have had knee surgery 2500 years before it was thought possible. He had a sterling silver pin in his knee cap, something that modern medicine only recently figured out. Yet another clue that aliens came down and told the Egyptians what was up.

HIDDEN TRUE DAT FACT PLAYA!!

– Speaking of Egypt, if aliens came back they would be like, “YO YO Egypt, whats goin…..on. Ohhhhhh. Oh man, you guys lost it.”

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