this, that, and the other

– When the leaning tower of pisa was built, the people in that town must have been like, “FUCK! What an eyesore! Couldn’t that bastard have built it the right way? Now I feel like I’m in some sort of funhouse whenever I walk down the street!”Actually, it probably sounded more like this, “FOTTE! Che un pugno nell’occhio! Quel bastardo non l’avrebbe potuto costruire il modo giusto? Ora sento come sono in uno genere di funhouse quando cammino giù per la strada!”

am i drunk or did someone fuck this up?

– SAY WHAT QUOTE MUUFUCKA? “I could put you in the condo, all the way up in Toronto.” – T-Pain.

– If T-Pain put me in a condo all the way up in Toronto i’d be like, “What the fuck man? You’re T-Pain and all you got me was a 1 bedroom condo in Ontario?? Ontario!?! Yo, you broke as shit dog. ” or maybe “Why not an apartment in Manhattan? Or even a townhouse in Tampa. But no…you had to rhyme.”

– When I first saw the show Hoarders on TV, I thought it was about a prostitute bookstore.

– How bad does “Brooklyn’s Finest” look? It is like they took the formula for “Training Day” and just said, “we don’t give a fuck about what the American people consider cinema.”

same shit different day

– Why would Rachel McAdams be in The Time Travelers Wife it is a role exactly like The Notebook. C’mon rachel we were hoping you would branch out a little. And yes, I am aware that this comment is about 8 months too late.

– Don’t you think the world has rebounded pretty well since WWII? There really isn’t all that much animosity amongst the nations these days. We can travel over the borders with no problem. Each country is filled with the grandchildren of those who fought in the war, I just find it interesting that it’s not awkward. Well, unless you’re German.

"im from......Denmark."

– So there was just an earthquake in Chile, and all the people in Haiti have a case of the “last years prom queen” syndrome in the American media. In fact, there is more coverage going on in Hawaii, where nothing has happened and people are waiting for a tsunami, than there is in the actual earthquake zone of Chile. Disgusting.

TRUE The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred. DAT – that mofo better have gotten an actual funeral in a coffin and whatnot.

Fred tried to kill himself at age 26, he was put in this cell for the remainder of his life

– I just saw a fly in my house! In February? I didn’t know they were hangin’ out around here these days.


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