it’s easy to say, but it’s hard to tell

– have you ever tried to type “haha” but accidentally typed “gaga” instead? When that happens I feel obligated to tell the person I dont like Lady Gaga. At all. Or when I type “jaja” I always assert that I hate Jar Jar Binks.

Hi, I'm practically a Jamaican

– If I lived in Hawaii, I would be living the HI life.

– I find it interesting that the word “debt” can be found in the word “debit” – as if adding the letter “i” can fool us….it seems to have worked.

– Someone at work saw my hair and said, “you look like a guy that smokes pot.” So I said, “and you like like someone who sells themselves for sex.”

– Proactiv advertises its “MicroCrystal Technology” as being what helps make Proactiv faces look better than others. What the fuck is that? I think companies can just make things up to sound cool like, “Black and Decker is now offering Super Seal Mark X V Icicle Microbead Fusion Bubble Graphite Sea Salt Technology 3”'s just a hammer guys, really

– “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. Now you will go to sleep. Or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag, you’re in my world now grandma.” – Ben Stiller as Hal L. is todays SAY WHAT QUOTE!!

– So Tiger Woods is making his comeback to Golf at The Masters. I think that’s saying something. Most golfers would come back at, like, the Phoenix Honda Tournament….but Tiger is beelining it to The Masters. Word up. Watch him now be unstoppable, just getting a hole in one on every hole.

– Why is there a tiger on the back of some Pennsylvania license plates? Is there an answer for this out there?

Tigers run wild near the Pittsburgh area

– I watched the premiere of Life, the so called part two of Planet Earth. This time, however, it is narrated by Oprah Winfrey. During one segment about the Venus Fly Trap she said, “The Venus Fly Trap has specially evolved barbs that ensure it uses its energy for a BRAND NEW CARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!”

upset the new car is a Nissan Altima

– Shakespeare’s works contain the first-ever recordings of 2,035 English words, including criticalfrugal,excellentbarefacedassassination, and countless TRUE DATEH FACTEH THOU BAREFACED MOFO!!!


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