– This week mike is:
– And noww for your long lost TRUE DAT FACT: The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
– So Mr. T is repping World of Warcraft now??? My, how the mighty have fallen. But think about this for a second. Let’s say you actually did play WoW, and one night you are waltzing around some far off kingdom and you come across Mr. T. I bet he would kick my ass, that’s for sure. He doesn’t seem to be the type of guy I would want to cross digitally either.
– Burger King has Ribs???? Ew. These must be absolutely disgusting. It is only a matter of time before other chains make an equivalent. Like soon you’ll see, “Come on into Wendy’s and rastle up some Sushiiiiiiii!” or “Popeyes, now serving Ethiopian cuisineeeeeee!”
– Modern Marvels….”Doors”. Wow, they are really reaching. The opening narration is, “The Door, actually, not much has changed. (roll credits)”
– If I had a pony tail or any sort of long hair I would never work near a fast moving machine. What an ugly funeral that would be. “I didn’t know Jim was bald.”
– Is it wrong of me to wish there was an alcohol called “Cotton Gin”?
– I was rollerblading, yeah, rollerblading the other day in DC and wanted to go into a Potbelly’s for a nice submarine sandwich. I asked a cashier that was smoking outside the front door if I could enter wearing the blades. He continued to puff his cigarette and shurgged, giving me basically the answer of, “i dont really give a fuck.” As I was about to go in an Asian man on an electric wheelchair was coming out, so I opened the door for him. He said thank you as he rolled past me, but as he did I took a long glance at his giant wheels, then back at mine, then back at the guy. We both laughed. Shout out to Eshovo Momoh who regularly rollerblades and actually got me into it.
– What happens when a newscaster gets married and their last name changes? The tech guys have to change all the logos, the bus banners need to be changed, the newscaster has to practice saying the new name every single day. That must be weird.
-FUCK THIS OIL SPILL! It really is fun to play the below video at full volume and just rant about how much it pisses you off. I did it last night, its fun.
– You know Andrew Jackson, our 7th President, never went to college….that would never happen today. But god dammit I wish it could.
– Osama – “s” + “b” = Obama. Isn’t it odd that the evil name we heard for years and years is strikingly similar to that of our president? And, fuck, his middle name is Hussein. Do you think Obama would have been elected in the American climate of 2001? I find it amazing that he got past that whole thing.
– A Telemundo station played “Backstreet’s Back” as a promo for World Cup Coverage……why?????????