post master general

– I had an interesting dream the other night, maybe you can tell me what you think it means. So I’m in this dream and I really have to shit, like really bad. I go into this room and sit down on the toilet. For some reason I don’t notice the 8-piece family sitting at a dinner table next to me. They are either speaking French, or I just know they are French. So here I am, sitting on the toilet and this family is sitting having dinner. I feel awkward because I can see they are talking about me, and snickering. It was really awkward. It gets worse as I wipe, with each pass of the paper the tension builds. I rush out of the bathroom, wondering why those people had a toilet in their dining room, or a dining room in their bathroom. Weird right?

"does anyone smell corn? I didn't make any corn."

– I wonder if some French guy woke up that same day and was like, “Mom, I had this weird dream we were eating dinner and some American guy was taking a shit right next to us! He didn’t say anything but I just know he was an American.” The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year…OHH hidden TRUE DAT FACT YO.

– I was drawn to an article entitled, “Hitler Memorbilia ‘attracts young Indians.'” The article talks about how the youth in India are increasingly finding Hitler to be a positive role model, not for killing millions of people, but for his leadership qualities. This makes some sense considering he did rally Germany out of economic despair and international humiliation. However, Indians are taking it a little too far. His book, Mein Kampf, is selling like hotcakes along with Hitler keychains, hats, water bottles, underwear etc etc. Could you imagine walking down the street and seeing a guy in a sleeveless Hitler denim jacket? He is the 2Pac of India. Here’s the link for all you haters that don’t believe my ass.

axe, however, is not popular in india

– I’m writing this on my laptop sitting atop a double decker bus traveling to New York City! WiFi is everywhere if it is on a fuckin bus. In fact, I find it ridiculous that it isn’t offered everywhere. It is on buses and planes and trains and McDonalds….it should just be free. Internet should be free. Amen. Whose starting the revolution with me???

– Do you think there is an “Americatown” in China?


– If you haven’t seen Toy Story 3 yet… you need to go. That is, of course, if you have seen the first 2. If you havent seen those I dont think you would like this one at all.

– I hate when you think you hear someone knocking, and everyone in the room stops for a second like its the police or some masked stranger. Most of the time the alleged knock turns out to be just someone tapping their foot, but phantom knocks run rampant. Much like phantom cell phone vibrations.

pimp stance

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s