big trouble in little chinatown

– So I just went to NYC’s Chinatown to get some Pho, even though that should be in Vietnamville or something. But Chinatown is like a whole different world. The stores, menus, even trash on the street are written in Chinese. As compared to the 2 blocks of Chinatown in DC, this one kicks the shit out of it.

– I watched people doing karate and tai-chi outside. So that was cool. Except one guy kept hacking up spit the whole time, not very zen like.

– Will someone please notice how ridiculously racist David Bowie is at 1:22. Immediately followed by a very gay head pivot at 1:26

– I walked by a toy store with a transformer toy that said, “TRANS TOYS” – I thought this was a big victory for the LGBT community and decided to take a picture. As I pull my phone out an old Chinese lady yells from an unseen location, “NO TAKE PIKCHA! NO PIKCHA” So I guess you’ll just have to believe me. There really was a transsexual toy.

"hayyyy girlsss and dicksss, i'm the best of both worlds

– I was standing in Union Square when a homeless man comes up to me, eating a bag of chips. He honestly and sincerely looks me in the eye and says, “Want some chips?” I respectfully declined, but had they been bbq….

"look man, take a chip. I only licked my hand 6 times."

– I saw a street poster advertisment with a picture of Michael J. Fox with the caption, “Determined to outfox Parkinson’s.” Don’t you think that’s a little low? Capitalizing on his name like that? Its almost a joke really.

– In the past 24 hours, I have seen 2 men with half a body. One man, without legs, was on his hands walking in the subway. Another man without legs was in a wheelchair begging for change. Where am I? The circus?

i live amongst you

– Chinatown NYC is the largest Chinese enclave in the Western Hemisphere. True Dat Asian Fact.

all chinese people can do this

– For those of you in Frederick, Maryland: I was passing by a store here in Queens and on the front I saw a big sign saying they carry Flying Dog Beer. I go in very excited about this and find that a 6 pack costs 12 dollars. I was like, “fucccccccck that.” So I left. Initially I felt let down that I walked away empty handed. But after that feeling went away, I thought to myself, “would any of my friends at home realistically pay 12 dollars for Flying Dog?” And that is where I found my answer. Thanks guys.

because my broke friends just don't give a fuck.
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