you better run

15 03 2011

– Most people like rappers because they can talk about the struggles of life in very clever ways. If this is true, than why are there no famous Native American rappers? Talk about struggle. I’m sure they have a lot of witty things to say in a syncopated rhyme scheme. Let’s think of some potential names shall we: Cherokilo, Apacheesin’, Seminoltorious, Nava-Joe.

Lil' Sioux can also beatbox and lure forest animals with his recorder

– A homeless guy straight up lit a cigarette on the train last night. Noone said a word.

– Why do all countries feel it is important to put images of people on their currency? Why not a notable waterfall, a depiction of a historical battle, or even a national dish? Instead we have to look at old, ugly people all the time.

– Zack, the Black Ranger from Power Rangers, was recently in a Bank of America commercial. How the Mighty Morphin’ have fallen.

screen shot of despair

– Do you think it’s gross sleeping in a regular hotel bed? How about sleeping on the hotel pull out sofa mattress??  Think of all the gross ass people that weren’t, “good enough” to sleep on the regular bed. All of the third wheels, the drunks, and obese cousins get the sofa bed.

– Often times fancy restaurants will have a bathroom attendant to turn on the faucet and give you a fresh towel. I think these attendants should go a step further and actually wash your hands for you. Yeah, it seems gross, but talk about full service. Also, a complete stranger lathering your hands is a funny image.

– And now for a joke I made up: “Your mama’s so dumb, she thought Gingivitis was a cocktail!” Ohhh sshitttttttt. (But Gingivitis is serious you guys. Get tested.)

– I saw a gay asian man, dressed in full camo, drinking Starbucks, while holding a tote bag that contained a dog. Americans these days.

mix this...

...with this

and this

Lateenager: Hispanic teenage girl. Say it out loud once.

– HTC now offers a phone with surround sound? That’s simply not possible. Surround sound, by definition, cannot come from one speaker.

– Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down – hence the expression “to get fired.” Ohhhh true dat fire fact b!!!

get you, and your punk ass family, out

 

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