put em in the hallway

– I’d like to think there are gay black men out there with names like: Delicious, Finesse, Capri-cious,  and Luscious

Chastity and Opulence's engagement photo

– Do people with nose hair actively not cut it? They must look in the mirror and say something each day like, “I see you nose hair, but I’m just gonna let you play out and see what happens.” Same with ear hair.

– America needs a new outlaw like Jesse James. Someone that doesn’t give a shit about anyone so much they steal and murder at will…all to an international audience of adoring fans. Think Lindsay Lohan but with the extra step of multiple homicide.

Pimpin It from the Midwest

– If I could go back in time and assassinate one president, I think it would be Andrew Johnson. I say this because he took Lincoln’s spot when he got iced, and if someone killed him too then 1800’s America would have been like, “Oh my god!! When will it end??” No one would ever want to be President. Why I wish this upon the nation I love? I do not know.

plus he looks like a deeeeeickkkkkk

– I wore my glasses today and was called, “Clark Kent” by a rather annoying coworker. I kind of took it as a compliment until I realized she was speaking to a paralyzed man in a wheel chair directly behind me.

This Week Mike Isn't
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