and now, our hero makes a daring getaway

– Today marks the 24,000th view of this nonsensical blog. Not very impressive in internet terms, but I think its bitchin! Keep it up.

– My local McDonalds makes the most picturesque Big Macs. Every single time they look better than the time before. How can this be? Why this McDonalds? Needless to say they lack in other areas like the indoor playplace that smells of urine, the ambiance of old Greek men barking at each other, and the sound of screaming latino children awaiting their McNuggets. But damn….those Big Macs.

Astoria Mickey D's don't f'n play around

– I was riding my bike today and an old man on the sidewalk extends his hand for a quick high-five. Seeing this, I’m instantly like, “Fuck yeah!” and extend mine to slap his as I cruise by. Little did I know this foolish old man wished to give me a handshakeas I sped past on a MOVING BICYCLE. I go in for the slap and feel his palm grip my hand, I pull mine out as fast as I can to prevent the awful wreck that was just around the corner. His face was clueless to the fact that he almost ripped a complete stranger off a speeding bike. I guess senility can be very dangerous.

at what point does this look like a handshake situation?

– Speaking of McDonalds, why haven’t they made a burger w guacamole on it? I feel that’s a trend these days they are ignoring. Well, I guess, not completely ignoring considering they own the trend called Chipotle. So nevermind. But a Crispy Chicken with Guac would be pretty damn good.

– So if McDonalds owns Chipotle when are we gonna have a loveable character represent the Mexican restaurant chain? McDonalds has the Irish lesbian Ronald McDonald, so what could Chipotle’s be? Perhaps, Ole Chipotle? A Mexican man donning a sombrero and clown make up? He would sell burrito bowls like hot cakes. Other names like Jose Chipotle, Tito the Chipotle Nymph, or just plain Chip Otle could work too. The latter, Chip, could be a little squirrel that is obsessed with their tortillas. “Who got into the tortillas again?….Chip!!!”

she frequents an Irish gay bar called, "McLittys"...downtown Dublin, ya can't miss it.

– Steed Jobs: A horse that creates a computer company and wears black turtle necks

– Even though this song has nothing to do with Mexico, I feel like it does.

– The first printing press in North America was used in Mexico City in 1539. Who knew they be so smart dat fact!

– I have holes in the crotches of 3 pairs of pants and about 5 pairs of underwear. Either I have old garments or my testicles have gotten enormous.

unfortunately, i look too much like this guy

– It’s funny when people find things funny that really aren’t. For example: Last night I was on a train with my big suitcase. A man who looked drunk or homeless sees the bag and says to me, “Hey, you can put an amplifier in there. Is there an amplifier in there?” I looked at him straight-faced and said, “No, just clothes.” When I said this he burst out laughing as if I had made the joke of the century. Must have been the meth in his system.

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