– Even now, as I write this, I am sitting across what appears to be a homeless man that resembles Rob Zombie/Charles Manson that has somehow come into posession of an AceR computer. He smells like little league practice. Here he is:
– Ryan Dunn has passed away. I loved him. I’d cue Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young,” but Dunn probably hated that song.
– I sat across from a guy on the train last night that looked exactly liked Charlie from Lost. Same stupid haircut.
– While in Mexico, I wondered if our hotel housekeepers were going to be American white women. Wouldn’t that be something?
– False Awakenings: when you are asleep but dream that you wake up and go about your morning rituals. This has happened to me twice recently. I’ve woken up, had a conversation with my girlfriend, turned on the light THEN woken up. It is creepy as shit.
– I don’t think I’ve seen more of those Kenny Chesney-fake ass-cowboy hats in my life than I did in Mexico.
– For $6.50 you could get 2 shots of Tequila and 3 bottles of Beer. That is astonishing.
– Today I am wearing camoflauge shorts in hopes that someone will obnoxiously shout, “Hey, your thighs are invisible! I can’t see them! Where did they go?” Noone has yet, but give it time.
– Much to my own surprise, I didn’t contract Montezumas Revenge. It seems the resorts purify their water these days as a precautionary measure. They don’t want Americans spray-shitting all over their 5-Star toilets.
– We ate Mexican food every, single, day. Sometimes for each meal. At breakfast I had these things called Chilaquiles: tortilla chips smothered in red sauce, cheese, chicken and eggs. It was delicious, and a substitute for an instant laxative.