you and kevin marshall are now friends

– The person that invented denim has no idea what he has done to this planet.

– When surfing through my cable listings i accidentally chose, “Breaking Bread” a show about religious beliefs when I meant to choose “Breaking Bad” a show about a man with cancer that begins to cook meth. Divine intervention? I think so.

– So I just saw a commercial of a man jogging to fight diabetes, he said with every step it keeps him further away from death THEN cuts dramatically to him jogging in a graveyard. Not like skipping through graves, but like jogging as if in some suburban neighborhood. The first thing that popped in my head was, “Is that even allowed???” Are people allowed to freely do activities at a graveyard?

Im sure they don’t have those “No rollerblading, no biking” type signs. But where does it end? Soon people will be doing team sports on the open grass, flag football and the like.

a land where checking your pulse is forbidden.

The graveyard director must see joggers and be like, “I’ll get you GOD DAMNED KIDS!”

But the more I think about it, the more jogging at a graveyard makes sense for someone trying not to get diabetes. Constant motivation, reminding you where you are heading, i get it.

BUT what if you were burying a relative and everyone is sad and crying and dressed in black suits and ties, and you look to the left and see an overweight man listening to his iPod, sweating his ASS off casually gallop by. I would find it a littttttle rude.

"DICKS!"

Caskets filled with Gatorades? Too much?

– Another commercial said, “The Almond Joy you enjoyed as a kid….can NOW be enjoyed in your coffee.” EW! Coffee creamers are getting a little out of hand these days.  Whatever happened to regular ass milk?

– Robert Irvine is one step away from being a slavemaster. If he had a plantation, it would have been one efficient -ass- plantation.

"You call this SUGAR CANE? Fix it!!!!"

– Arby’s has a new cheessteak and their tagline is, “It may be the best Philly, outside of Philly!” A: yeah right and B: What about all the Arby’s IN Philly? Hm? Talk about a paradox! Thanks Arby’s advertising team for sending my mind into a downward spiral of “what ifs?” and “but hows?”

– Last nights FB status from a straight man is:  “Already thinkin bout Saturday Night’s outfit…come on weekend start already!!!”

– In 1973 he dropped out of college, in 1974 he joined Atari, and in 1975 he went to India looking for enlightenment. That’s a Steve Jobs true dat fact son! What an amazing way to begin a global phenomenon. I gotta get my ass to India. iRIP Steve.

RIP Steve, or as you would say, iRIP

– Does anyone else think that tomorrow, the day after Steve Job’s death that Bill Gates and the CEO of Dell gonna have a wonderful day? Like birds chirping and bright sunlight in their bedrooms. Ya know, that kind of cartoon shit? If that happened our world would be evil as shit!

when Bill heard the news, he pounded some Red Bull and blasted 2 Pac's "All Eyez on Me" until the sun rose.
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