this one is dedicated to you

– Whenever I see an American flag flying in October I’m thinking, “Dude, take down your decorations already, seriously.”

"Dude, July was forever ago."

– CLEVER TERRORISM: Switching the water cups during a marathon for vodka.

– Noone ever talks about Dingleberries any more. Why not?

– Don’t you hate repeating conversations you’ve already had with people? I think there should be a rule that if someone tells a story they told you off-hand 2 weeks ago that you are allowed to say something to the effect of, “STOP, I know.”

– I hate listening to headphones on my computer in public then they come out by accident, then everyone can what I’ve been listening to.

She's an embarassment when around others.

(disclaimer: I don’t listen to Pink.)

– The old gentleman next to me at Starbucks has pulled out a can of Atlantic Pink Salmon, it is this writers hope that he doesn’t open it.

– My Word spellcheck doesn’t recognize “texting” as a correct spelling. Perhaps it’s time I update my Microsoft ’97.

Gotta get it in before Octobers donezo 

– The old gentleman next to me, ya know, the one with the Salmon, smells like a horse. He also has a bright yellow wrist band, clearly applied by a nurse, that reads, “Fall Risk.”  Wow.

– These old style lightbulbs are in fashion yet again. Edison’s filaments makin a comback bigtime in 2011.

"I want my living room to look like 1903."

– So all these riots, tornadoes, earthquakes, protests, etc are all unfolding just as the 2012/Revelations/Nostradamus said it would. Here we go everyone.

Rough Draft would be a good name for a beer bar.

-It’s 3:28PM and I have only eaten one chocolate chip cookie today.

– People that wear eyepatches everyday must have a reallydifficult time on Halloween. “Oh are you a pirate?”  – “No, I’m a doctor….asshole.”

At least its one day a year they can blend in.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s