-Now, for a list of things I have done:
lost a friend while drunk in Toronto, arm wrestled a Mexican man with a rat-tail in NYC, rollerbladed to the White House, had a Slovakian man shout at me while in the Netherlands that he, “loves Maryland,” broke into the Caesars Palace pool in Las Vegas, drunkenly sang 311 karaoke in New Orleans, had police order me to pour out handles of liquor in my own Florida hotel room, been on a plane that landed – then immediately took off again, had someone throw up on my head at a Brooklyn concert, seen Anderson Cooper texting on the street, been told to “neck” a beer by 2 cops in London, broken up a potential fight on the streets of Baltimore…
(i think thats about all I’ve done.)
-Adolf Hitler, a man know for being a pretty serious guy, had a favorite movie, Metropolis. I cannot image Hitler relaxing. Period. Let alone watching movies recreationally. At what point in his busy day was he ever like, “ya know what, lets pop in a movie.”
I can see Hitler liking The Social Network
-Einsten is well know to have done some weird shit. He used sit in his chair, in silence, for hours, just thinking. No book. No music. In complete silence. Imagine if someone walked in on that! Or, how creeped out would his family have been? They would always whisper:
“What’s he doing in there?”
“I don’t know, Margaret. He’s been acting so strange lately.”
-Rejected line from earlier Hitler story AND a subtle shout out to my high school history teacher: “You guys wanna go to the movies? They’re air conditioned.”
– Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. Talk about paying taxes, am I right dat fact?
-Have you ever wanted to text someone, “ok” and abbreviated it as, “k” – then gotten carried away and texted, “kkk”? It happens, I know.
-Why is there a large blank spot below this? It’s FOR YOU!!! I want to start including writing, jokes, one liners, stories and such from my friends and readers. They can be anonymous or very much credited to you. So if you have something you’d like me to include, email me at email@example.com and I’ll totally put it up!