long john silver’s revenge

– I bet real estate agents love house music.

Rave TONIGHT at 432 Sycamore Lane!

– Starbucks and Starburst should team up on something. Their names are basically the same.

– I stopped myself from going on a spree of FB comments that simply said, “I support it.” One in reference to a masturbating man that goes to all NYC Starbucks, the other in regards to a person going as the bi-racial son of Blade for Halloween.

i support it

– Why is it that when you leave a restaurant, you feel obligated to say, “thank you” to as many employees that they see. Why tell a waiter you didn’t have that, “everything was great!” Just doesn’t need to happen.

– 

——-The following is the first ever guest post by Mr. T.M. Scholtes ———–

– While driving on some back roads, I took notice of the thousands and thousands of telephone poles that people actually had to cement into the ground so that we could have nationwide communication. I’m sure they’re all dead now, but I guess it would suck to know that all your work, although revolutionary, is now completely useless. Unless you need a payphone to get out of the Matrix…

"For thousands of years our hard work will be rev.....what's that?...wirele...what? FUCK YOU."

– Some Sundays I will wake up, and my roommate will say, “only 16 more hours until you’re back at work!” Like, thanks for the heads up man.

–  Apparently there are certain dogs that have been trained to smell if you have certain diseases like cancer. But what else could they train them to smell? I would hate to be in that 9th grade health class where they bring in a dog and it just starts barking at the slutty girl.

"Mista Jenkins, why he barkin and me and stuff?"

– I wonder if competitive eaters are actually a stronger evolutionary type than us regular eaters. If those people can gorge 68 hotdogs in such a short time, could they possibly live if there was a short supply of food? Are they better adapted for the harsh post-Mayan apocalypse?

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